Wedding reception - Western Culture

Wedding reception

Until after World War II, wedding celebrations were most commonly held in the bride's home, in whatever style of entertainment was within the means of the family. This might be a grand ball for a wealthy family, a luncheon for middle-class families, or an afternoon tea, featuring cake and lemonade, for working-class families. The choice depended primarily on the family's economic situation, and in some cases, mass weddings were favored as a way to share costs. At the beginning of the 20th century, dance halls became common, and were rented by those planning a celebration beyond what their homes could hold. Typical locations for wedding celebrations now include hotel ballrooms, banquet halls, wedding venues, community halls, social halls at the church or other sacred place where the wedding ceremony took place, and, particularly for smaller weddings, restaurants and garden parties at home. There are also many small businesses that specialize in providing places for wedding ceremonies and celebrations.

Receiving line

Technically, to be a reception, instead of some other form of entertainment, guests must be greeted with a receiving line. In a receiving line, newly wedded couple, the hosts, and often their parents and any honour attendants, stand in order of precedence and greet every guest in turn. Each guest greets the first (lowest precedence) person in the line and, if necessary, introduces him/herself. The first person then introduces the guest to the next person in the line, and turns to the next guest. As each guest properly speaks little more than his/her name (if necessary) and conventional greetings or congratulations to each person in turn, the line progresses steadily without unnecessary delays. Western etiquette requires at least one of the hosts and the newly married couple, as the guests of honor, to welcome and greet the guests, but the other members of the wedding party, parents who are not hosting the party, siblings, etc., are not required to stand in the receiving line. It is increasingly common to feature only the couple, since more modern couples host and pay for their own weddings rather than their parents.

After formally receiving each guest in this fashion, the receiving line is finished and the people who had been duty-bound to stand in it can mingle with guests, eat, and enjoy more extended conversations.

Grand entrance
Another option, popular on the East and West Coast of the United States, is having a grand entrance instead of a receiving line. The grand entrance might involve presenting some or all of the wedding party, the parents, and/or the bride and groom.

The wedding party is usually introduced by a master of ceremonies, disc jockey, or band leader. It may be done in the same manner as they walked down the aisle during the wedding ceremony. This is generally much faster than a receiving line and guests may be seated before the arrival of the wedding party. In addition, it can be an event in itself and be as entertaining as wished. Introductions may be accompanied by music and information about each person to introduce them to the guests. However, unlike a reception line, it does not give the guests an opportunity to speak to any of the people being presented.

Food

The wedding cake and other decorations at a wedding reception in Japan
The food served at a wedding reception is determined by the time of the wedding and local customs. Food may range from a single non-alcoholic drink with wedding cake to elaborate, multi-course dinners. The type of food is chosen entirely at the discretion of the hosts.

Some receptions, especially if the family's culture or religious faith prohibits alcohol or dancing, focus on dessert. Hosts may also choose to honor regional or local customs, such as by serving a culturally important cake like croquembouche in France rather than a white layer cake, or by adding local specialties. For example, weddings in Pittsburgh often feature thousands of homemade cookies in addition to a wedding cake.


The bride and groom cut the wedding cake at an American wedding reception in 1955.
The wedding cake is often a multi-tiered layer cake that is elaborately decorated with white frosting. Some couples have a smaller display cake, which is supplemented by sheet cake.

The groom's cake is a tradition observed mainly in the southern United States. In the Colonial and Victorian eras, the white-iced bride's cake was considered "too light" for male tastes, and a second cake choice—usually a dark, liquor-soaked fruitcake—was also offered. Today, chocolate is popular, although the groom's cake may be in any flavor and is usually shaped or decorated as something significant to the groom, such as a favorite hobby or sport.

If a full meal is served, the wedding cake is usually served after the meal. Otherwise, the cake may be served as soon as the family has received all of the guests.

Commonly, the couple ceremonially cut the first piece of the cake, and in a nod to an ancient Roman wedding rite, may feed a bite to one another and perhaps sip a glass of wine or other drink with linked arms. Then the cake is served to the guests. Like being asked to pour tea at a formal tea party, being asked to serve the cake is generally considered an honor.

Toasts

Main article: Toast (honor)
In most Western countries, either before or after food is served, toasts are made by the wedding party, wishing the couple well. Commonly, toasts are proposed by the bride's father, the groom, the best man, and/or the maid of honor, although there is no absolutely required list of people who must make toasts, or indeed any requirement to offer toasts at all.

A new trend involves the addition of a DVD slideshow or photo montage video, featuring pictures of the new spouses growing up and meeting. These are created using home movies and photos taken over the couple's life, edited and set to music. The montage is shown either on a large TV or monitor or with an LCD projector.

Dances

Flemish wedding, 17th century
If there is dancing at the celebrations after the wedding, the newly married couple typically open the dancing with their first dance. When waltzing was popular, it was sometimes called a bridal waltz, although other dance styles are more commonly used now. The style of dancing depends on the nature of the music chosen. Fox trot, two-step, or rumba match most four-count pop ballads. While most contemporary Western couples select a romantic song and a relatively formal dance style, some couples choose to perform humorous choreographed dances.

Traditionally, shortly after the dance begins, guests would promptly join in the dancing, in order of precedence, exactly like at any other ball. In very recent times, some families have told guests to not start dancing until after watching a sometimes lengthy sequence of "special" dances. For example, after the first dance, the newly married couple might dance with their parents or new in-laws. However, there is no requirement that any particular people dance at all, much less with any particular person, and no absolutely required order for the bridal couple, their families, or the bridal party to begin dancing in.

Wedding Reception Entertainment

Wedding receptions are often the time when couples want to ensure their family and guests will be entertained, and a variety of options such as live bands, professional dancers such as ballroom dancers or belly dancers, fire artists and even comedians are brought in to heighten the festivities and make the wedding stand out. In America and in other countries, including lavish entertainment at the wedding reception is a wonderful luxury.

Departure

A ceremony is often made of the newlyweds' departure. Rice or birdseed, signifying abundance, may be thrown at the departing couple, with birdseed preferred by facility managers, since it requires less clean up work than rice, and new, mess-free substitutes, such as blowing soap bubbles or ringing small bells being even more favored by the cleaning staff.

As the newlyweds are the guests of honor, the other guests are expected to remain at the reception until they leave them, and consequently, it is an imposition on the other guests for the newlyweds to stay unreasonably long at the party. On occasion, the newlyweds will stage an official leave-taking, so that guests feel free to leave, and then quietly return through another door.

Expense

The average cost of a wedding in the United States, as of 2007, was about $28,000, almost twice the cost of a wedding in 1990. By 2011 the average cost of a wedding decreased slightly to approximately $25,500. The wedding industry nets $161 billion annually, according to Rebecca Mead, author of One Perfect Day. Approximately 50% of a couple's entire wedding budget is spent on the reception alone. This is primarily due to the cost of food and alcohol.

Other traditions

Wedding traditions vary between countries, and between regions of the same country. Some traditions include:

The money dance, or "dollar dance". Guests pay a small amount of money to dance with the bride or groom. In some cultures, the money is pinned to a special apron worn by the bride or groom. In others, the money is collected by friends. This is prevalent among Polish and Italian couples, although many other brides and grooms often incorporate it. There is considerable debate about the propriety of a money dance in English-speaking countries, where the practice is frowned upon because making guests pay for dancing or socializing with the bridal couple seems inhospitable, greedy, or distasteful. It is accepted when the couple and the majority of their guests are of one of the cultures in which it is traditional.
Tossing of the bride's bouquet and garter. The bride tosses her bouquet over her shoulder to a group of all the single women present. Whoever catches it is supposed to be the next to get married. Similarly, the groom tosses the bride's garter to the single men, often after removing it from her leg. On occasion, the bride will "rig" the bouquet toss by tossing the bouquet to a woman who is engaged. The groom then arranges for the fiancé of the bouquet-toss winner to receive the bride's garter. Sometimes, the man who catches the garter is supposed to put it on the leg of the woman who catches the bouquet, or the garter is sold in a raffle instead of being tossed.
Clinking glasses. Guests will often clink their glasses during dinner to ask the newlyweds to stand up and kiss. Some couples pass out wedding favor bells for guests to ring instead of clinking glasses.
Favors. The hosts may provide a small gift for each guest. Favors may include chocolates, candles, picture frames, or other small gifts. Such favors are not required.

Wedding Reception

A wedding reception is a party held after the completion of a marriage ceremony. It is held as hospitality for those who have attended the wedding, hence the name reception: the couple receives society, in the form of family and friends, for the first time as a married couple. Hosts provide their choice of food and drink, although a wedding cake is popular. Entertaining guests after a wedding ceremony is traditional in most societies, and can last anywhere from half an hour to many hours or even days.

In some cultures, separate wedding celebrations are held for the bride's and groom's families.

Before receptions—a social event that is structured around a receiving line, and usually held in the afternoon, with only light refreshments—became popular, weddings were more typically celebrated with wedding breakfasts (for those whose religious traditions encouraged morning weddings) and wedding balls (for those who were married in the evening). The popularity of receptions, rather than breakfasts, dinners, and balls, during the 20th century led to the name reception being applied to any social event after a wedding, whether it is brunch, tea, dinner, or a dance.

THAALI - MANGALA SUTRA

THAALI - MANGALA SUTRA

Not to be confused with the Buddhist discourse Mangala Sutta.
    It has been suggested that Thali necklace be merged into this article. (Discuss) Proposed since August 2013.
   
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A Telugu style Mangala sutra.

A mangala sutra (from Sanskrit mangal, meaning "holy, auspicious", and sutra, meaning "thread") is a sacred necklace that a Hindu groom ties around the bride's neck in a ceremony called Mangalya Dharanam (Sanskrit for "wearing the auspicious"), which identifies her as a married woman. The woman continues to wear the mangala sutra as a sign of her marital status.

This practice is an integral part of a marriage ceremony as prescribed by Manusmriti the traditional law governing Hindu marriage.

Contents

    1 Introduction
    2 Regional variations
        2.1 Designs
    3 Significance
    4 Gallery
    5 References

Introduction

Mangalsutra literally means "an auspicious thread" which is knotted around the bride's neck. It is usually a necklace with black beads strung from a black or yellow thread prepared with turmeric. Sometimes gold, white or red beads are also added to the mangal sutra, depending on regional variation. It is comparable to the wedding ring of the West. In certain communities, the groom ties the first of the three knots while his sisters tie the rest.
Regional variations

It is called mangal sutra (मंगळसूत्र) in Marathi, thaali (தாலி) in Malayalam / Tamil, thaali (ತಾಳಿ), mangalyasutra (ಮಾಂಗಲ್ಯ) in Kannada, and thaali (తాళి), maangalyamu (మాంగళ్యము), mangalasutramu (మంగళసూత్రము) or pustelu (పుస్తెలు) in Telugu. Konkanis (Goans and others) wear three necklaces around their necks, referred to as dhaaremani or muhurtmani (big golden bead), mangalasutra with one or two gold discs and kasithaali with gold and coral beads. In Malayalam it is simply referred to as thaali (താലി).

In the Syrian Christian communities in Kerala, it is called a minnu. An engraving of the holy spirit is a distinguishing feature of the Syrian Christian Minnu. According to tradition, the families of the bride and the bridegroom contribute a piece of gold and melt it with the help of the family goldsmith. This is then used to make the rest of the necklace. The process of tying is assisted by a sister of the groom, as it is with other Hindu communities. During the wedding ceremony, the minnu is held on and tied using a braided thread made by twisting together seven threads taken from the manthrakodi (wedding sari).
Designs

Mangala sutras are made in a variety of designs. The common ones are the Lakshmi thaali, pustelu worn by the Telugus, ela thaali or minnu worn by the Malayalees and the kumbha thaali worn by the Tamils of the Kshatriya caste. The design is chosen by the groom's family according to prevalent customs. Gujaratis and Marwaris often use a diamond pendant in a gold chain which is merely ornamental in nature and is not a substitute to the mangala sutra in the traditional sense. Maharashtrians wear a pendant of two vati ornaments. The mangalya, thaali or mangala sutra of Kannidagas is similar to that of the Maharashtrians, except that it usually has two vatis. Nowadays many fashion conscious families opt for lighter versions, with a single vati or more contemporary style, however these do not conform to the traditional sensibilities or functions of wearing a mangalsutra.
Significance

Apart from the mangala sutra, the toe rings (bichhua), kumkum, bangles, nalla pusalu (black pearls) and nose ring form six symbols that may indicate that a woman is married. While there are local variations with respect to the others, the mangala sutra is nevertheless worn by most married women in southern parts of India.

The significance of the mangala sutra was re-iterated by Adi Shankara in his famous book Soundarya Lahari. According to Hindu cultural ethos, the mangala sutra celebrates the relationship between a husband and a wife and is for the long life of the husband. The bridegroom ties the mangala sutra to the neck of the bride uttering, “May you live long by wearing this sacred mangal sutra, the reason of my life”. Married women wear a mangala sutra throughout their life as it is believed that the practice enhances the well-being of her husband and family. It is also believed that the mangala sutra protects the marriage from any evil eye. Three knots symbolize three different aspects of a married woman - the first knot represents her obedience to her husband, the second to his parents and the third represents her respect for God.

Wedding and Married Life in Hinduism

A Hindu bride dressed up in Meghalaya, northeast India.

While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.

Economics

In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$ 3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.

Law

In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.[citation needed]

Married life

A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.

Rituals in Nepal

In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.

The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.

After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.

After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.

Rituals

Two Indian baraat (wedding processions), in 1890s, before the age of automobiles. Painted by American painter Edwin Weeks.]
Some Indian weddings abroad symbolically maintain some of the customs in India. Above is a symbolic arrival of the groom on a horse (baraat), in Nottingham, England. In front is the band.

Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.

Other rituals sometimes found in Hindu weddings include ceremonies such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, lajahoma, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.

Some rituals involve[citation needed] rice or other grains, such as Chortaan Ka Tel, Vaaynoovi, Dholi, Sai Kai. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain.

After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.

Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma - literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" - has been claimed by some scholars as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.

In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.

Saptapadi - Long Form

Hindu wedding, ceremonial offerings
Hindu wedding - the bride and groom are traditionally dressed

The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:

    Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph

    Step 1 Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends, parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu, take this first step with you for food.
    Step 1 Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it, prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and family as well.

    Step 2 Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O! beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body, character and being.
    Step 2 Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason. Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.

    Step 3 Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in our wealth.
    Step 3 Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our family.

    Step 4 Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this fourth step with you to participate in our world.
    Step 4 Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.

    Step 5 Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.
    Step 5 Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our family, necessary for our happiness.

    Step 6 Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children, to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu, take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.
    Step 6 Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will worship you and seek to complete you.

    Step 7 Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.
    Step 7 Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all my heart.

After the seventh step, the two become man and wife.